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by LordArt » Tue Mar 28, 2006 2:38 pm
Which would you prefer (and why)....
Choice #1: To be cute and popular. The Upside is everyone wants you and after a fashion volenteer to do things for you. The down side is, you have no friends because of it. You, as a person, only really get along with the opposite sex, and the problem there is, all your "freinds" on that side are just waiting for the oppertunity to get in good with you to hope to "jump your bones"/be the object of your affection/love interest. You are constantly losing freinds because even though YOU have gotten close with them as friends, they are interested in more and either they never have a chance or your not currently interested. In either case, they leave because they can't handle the torture of the dangling carrot syndrome. And even the ones that stay, you ALWAYS know it's in the back of their heads, and while they stay freinds, you always know it's for more than friendship. Let alone the pain you feel for their suffering that you can't help. They might even be good people and be loyal but every time you break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, there is always a vieing for those who have been waiting patientially to get a chance to make their move, and in so doing, there is always posturing and fallout of those that don't make the cut. While a true friend is possible, it's very hard to find.
Choice #2: To be "not so desired". While your not as popular physically as choice #1, you can understand the concept of true freindship. People are friends with you BECAUSE of WHO you are, not because of anything else. Their loyalty is based on their interaction, not with a feeble hope of jumping your bones/love interest. Not that your repulsive or anything, but your not on a cover of a fashion magazine either. You are popular because of your personality, and you have many freinds because of that alone.
So which would you rather be and give your reasons. To be cute and popular in #1 but quite alone, or #2 and have lots of freinds but not have the opposite sex be falling all over you. Give it some thought and put that thought into text. That's the point.
Last edited by LordArt on Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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by Siberion » Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:05 pm
Am I the only one who thinks it's not black and white like that? :P
For the sake of the poll, I'm going to say 'normal'. Why? Because as much as I enjoy getting attention from friends every now and then, I don't enjoy being a general center of attention all the time. It's easier to hide in the corner if your looks aren't drawing everybody's eyes on you.
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by LordArt » Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:08 pm
Siberion wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's not black and white like that? ![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
That's why it's a philosophical question, not a law of life (It's an experiment silly). You go by the context of the question as best as reasonably possible. Exceptions are always true and the situation is RARELY so cut and dry.
But thank you for your answer. ![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
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by Ogre » Tue Mar 28, 2006 7:06 pm
Normal... It is what I know, and while it might be nice to be wanted more, true friendships are a much better thing.
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by Strider » Wed Mar 29, 2006 2:43 pm
What truely defines normalicy other than embracing who you are and enjoying it.
Fuck being popular... I'd rather be myself and enjoy my sanity then to sell who I am for the sake of being hip/now.
Fear me not, for I am not my friend Ogre...
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by Strider » Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:51 pm
Oh... and these questions are misnomered as philosophical questions. They are more like sociological surveys.
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by LordArt » Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:27 pm
Strider wrote:Oh... and these questions are misnomered as philosophical questions. They are more like sociological surveys.
Your right (Mr. Philosophy Major). But then again, if they were posted as a survey, it wouldn't be as interesting would it? ![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
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by Strider » Sat Apr 01, 2006 6:29 am
Yes... they would.
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by Obsidian » Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:52 am
k, my answer is a little different =)
I'd go for number 1. Being attractive and socially popular. Because in reality, and this modern world, attractiveness and social popularity amount to squat on the internet.
You can be as hot as you like, with as many people in your school/town/whatever wanting to bed you (and wouldn't you feel sorta good if that was the case!) and still be a loser on the internet, or whatever.
I look at it thusly:
People drawn to me physically would be less likely to become a true friend, for those reasons outlined above. They'd get to know me in the quest to get my body, and that would always be a goal in their mind. However, people that don't meet me physically, such as via the internet, people that have nothing to go on but my personality and way of expressing myself aren't going to face that bias.
Without being arrogant, I actually have this happen. I'll befriend females, become rather good friends with them/find myself attached, and then they vanish when it becomes apparent they won't get what they want from me. And it does hurt, yes. Online though, I've never really had that happen. I've always tried to be honest and true to myself online, and as a result I've met and befriended some of the best and most important people in my life.
And besides, why aren't we able to have both aspects? Cute, and a great personality/good friends/happiness? People could be drawn to us/them/me because of looks, then stay because of personality.
But yeah. Short answer: #1. Long answer: See above.
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by Lightbringer » Tue Apr 11, 2006 3:16 am
Well, having a truly good personality MAKES you attractive, popular, etc. as a result of your dignity, integrity, intelligence, sense of humour and other qualities too numerous to name. If you just think "Why doesn't anyone ask me out or wanna be friends with me? I have an interesting personality" then you truly don't have an interesting personality or you're unwilling to stop caring about what other people think and just be yourself.
So I voted 2 because it includes choices 1 and 2. Isn't that a paradox? ![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
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by FireEssence » Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:26 am
Lightbringer wrote:Well, having a truly good personality MAKES you attractive, popular, etc. as a result of your dignity, integrity, intelligence, sense of humour and other qualities too numerous to name. If you just think "Why doesn't anyone ask me out or wanna be friends with me? I have an interesting personality" then you truly don't have an interesting personality or you're unwilling to stop caring about what other people think and just be yourself. So I voted 2 because it includes choices 1 and 2. Isn't that a paradox? ![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
In all truth, I disagree with your answer. (But because this is a topic in which we're supposed to give our own answers, I'll make my rebuttal brief)
I have numerous friends who I truly enjoy being around and to me, have really awesome personalities and mindsets. That doesn't make me want to date them though. Generally, people I want to date are people I have brief encounters with who may or may not be all that physically appealing but beyond that, are just strangely alluring to me. Of course I've been in that, "I want to date my best friend..." situation a few times before as well but once again, these people are usually the most flawed of my choices (especially as far as personality goes)
For me, the answer would be #2, if #2 meant the personality I already have. I have enough friends, plenty of aquaintances, and know dirt on most everyone in the local social circle to think that in my own world at least, I'm a decent example of the option. Do I get a lot of dates? Not so much. Do people have a great time when they hang out with me? Always, and that's what helps me have a great time.
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by Psychokinetic Wannabe » Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:17 pm
I voted a while ago but I was going to save answering this and the other two threads I'm about to answer until the current cycle of applicants was processed, and I knew one way or another if I got in, but I figured I might as well get it over with while I have a bit of time. Plus, I don't think I have anything about my personality that I need to hide from this board to get accepted, so really, there was no reason to wait to begin with.
I voted for two because while I like Obsidian's idea that you can be cute/attractive while maintaining close ties due to your personality, I think the implicit meaning of the question is that you have one or the other. Of course, if you happen to be particularly attractive by your local social standards and simultaneously happen to be a pretty good person, great. I think in this case, though #1 doesn't explicitly say it excludes having a good personality as a whole, the implication is that you can't have both, and thus the point of the question.
So presuming that the above is the case, I'd go for #2. Of course, personal experience is that I have the advantages of neither. I am attractive to some, but not many, physically, and while I wouldn't swap my personality out for a while I was just too socially awkward and obnoxious to get popular. Most of that's gone now, due to the fact that the awkwardness and obnoxiousness were mainly the results of insecurity and attempts at fitting in that I over-did, etc, but my point is that for most of my psychologically formative years, I lacked popularity of either type. But through that I think I've grown to value personal growth and merit far more than popularity or acceptance of any sort. Social acceptance matters because we live in a social world and if you get yourself ostracized too much, you're screwed, but it should never be a pursuit. So option #2 is something I particularly agree with because it's the only one worth anything in my eyes.
Sure, there's been times, especially when I was younger (actually, only when I was younger. I think that tapered off around the time I was 14-15... somewhere in there), of wistfully wishing that people found me attractive more, but as far as I'm concerned that was more of a stepping stone for a growing experience than anything else. Of course, the attractive get their own growing experience, in the form of the realization that some people really only care about them in a physical way - I'm not saying that's not the case - but if I'm interpreting the premise as in essence asking which is more important to you, then number 2 is the only one that fits.
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FireEssence, I don't think we need to keep our rebuttals brief. The whole point of forums is discussion, and the point of a thread like this is engendering contemplation and possibly learning about the posters. Rebuttals and discussion of disagreements are the lifeblood of threads like this, I would say, much more so than the original answers to the initial question.
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by Thelynx » Thu Mar 18, 2010 7:41 pm
I chose number 1 because to me it makes sense. I've had people in my life, of the opposite sex, who were trying to "jump my bones" but in the end we end up being good friends. How did I get around this dilemma. It's called being gay. Lol. And since the premise of this question specifically states people of the opposite sex and makes no indication of sexuality I believe it's a valid answer. And in the end it states a true friend is possible but is hard to find. But it is possible. And since starting magic I am a believer that hard work pays off. Also, number 2 states that you know the value of "true friendship" but makes no indication that you have any true friends, only MANY friends. "You are popular because of your personality, and you have many friends because of that alone." Honestly, I rather be loved by one, than liked by many. And being cute would be a added bonus since that will be one less thing I have to worry about. And I can put my mind to more important things. Like getting into Omnimancy :p
Hope my answer was sufficient. :]
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by Psychokinetic Wannabe » Thu Mar 18, 2010 7:51 pm
Okay Thelynx. Suppose sexuality was far more openly treated in this country, and there were people of the same sex trying to jump your bones too? No longer working within the premise, but with a slightly modified one. I'm just curious if that alters your answer at all.
But touche about the hard work bit. Personally I think that not starting out being exceptionally attractive/cute tends to shave off other bits from the things to worry about list, so the time gain is the same, but every person is different of course.
Honestly, it probably largely has to do with what your inner is busy trying to learn, and what it still needs to learn. If I was trying to look at it from an inner's perspective, I'd go for whichever would work better in context of everything I wanted to learn through my 'lower'... But that's neither here nor there.
If a thing be really good, it can be shown to be such. If you cannot demonstrate its excellence, it may well be suspected that you are no proper judge of it. - William Godwin
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by Thelynx » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:19 pm
Eh. Probably not. Either way I would have to find that true friend regardless. There will just be a lot more drama in the process though. Lol. I don't want to sound vain but personally I never found a reason to disregard how one looks. My motto is, my body is a temple, be it astral, mental or physical, and there is no reason for my temple to not be beautiful. And in reality most people are shallow. Now this is a totally biased on what I have experienced in my life since most 20 somethings are not interested in your personality when they first meet you. Usually they are judging on your looks. So as of right now, I would not mind being the cute/popular person. But I have noticed in the magical community, ones body and physical aesthetic usually takes a back seat in favor of more magical objectives. Maybe because it never made sense to me why one would do that since we live on earth and we have to be able to go about our lives just like everyone else, even if we can manipulate things in our favor. I always thought magic was suppose to help you in your life, not be a replacement for it. Who knows, maybe one day I will change my views on life.
Sorry this totally went on a rant. Lmao.
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