Wave particle duality function collapse, property control.

[Nogitsune no Negai]

Hello everyone.
I've been wondering since 7th grade what makes a particle behave the way it does, why it chooses its properties seemingly from a bell curve (if I remember correctly) of possible and most likely probable outcomes.

If you're familiar with the double slit experiment, it would be wondering what makes the particle choose the left or right side, aka it's spin, aka why did the probability wave function the particle existed on before measurement collapsed onto the reality here it did.

If we could learn to control this wave function collapse at will we could control matter itself, no?
What prevents it so far?

Thank you. Seasons greetings.